To the Bride and the Groom by Zoe Wheatley

I have a cousin-her name is Susie,
Behind her back I call her “The Floozie”,
You all know I’m kidding of course. It has to rhyme to make up this verse,
We went to Hawaii to lay in the sun,
Susie was going-yea-She’s wild, she’s fun,
But when we got there, what did she do? Talked of the phone to you-know-who!
She called in the morning-4 a.m.to be exact. She called in the evening-
Left messages-we couldn’t keep track,
She called to talk, she called to sing,
I’ll bet poor Lloyd dreaded to hear that phone ring,
When she talked on the phone, she sat on the floor,
We walked over, around her, wrapped ourselves in the cord,
She talked so long we actually got bored,
Even Lloyd tried to give her a hint, “Sorry you have to go,” he said-
She didn’t know what he meant.
Isn’t love grand-isn’t it great? Come on Susie-give us a break!
On one trip to Reno, while sitting by me,
She said, “I’m going to faint-What could this be?”
Not knowing what to do-I fanned her-to be nice,
She snarled and said, “My neck, get some ice!”
So out she went, just like a light, Scaring us all, it was quite a sight!
The attendants layed her down, scurried around her like ants,
When we knew she was okay, we were proud she hadn’t wet her pants!
She was weak and puny for a couple of days,
Out of love and devotion we became her best slaves,
We carried her luggage, her purse---even paid all the fares,
“Keep an eye on her they said- then she’d disappear,
One minute beside you, the next she was gone.
“Where the hell did she go?” became our theme song,
What are friends for-we really do love her
But thank God on the 3rd day she finally recovered!
We’ve had so much fun-all the things we have done
Parties, birthdays, trips, long talks and then some,
She’s kind, she’s caring, honest and true,
We now have a problem-We don’t know what to do
No more gossip or secrets and why do you think?
She has a new name- It’s Susie the Fink.
I’m sorry Lloyd-don’t be mad, Susie’s picked you and we are so glad
We have a large family to welcome you,
You’ll get so many kisses, you’ll be black and blue,
Let’s make a toast-everyone drink,
To The Bride and The Groom - Mr. & Mrs. Lloyd Fink.